Saturday, 19 May 2012

The Blame Game: To yourself be true.

Shifting blame on others is the preferred escape route for  proud persons  who know they are guilty of offences  or they have failed to reach an expected goal , but  they are unwilling  to admit  guilt  or blame for their crimes  and for their self-inflicted failures and misfortunes.
The ability  to lie, to criticise  and  to shift blame  on others would depend on the extent  to which a man's conscience is seared and the extent of  pride and self-delusion  in the mind of the accuser.
Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;" 1 Timothy 4:2.

Some people allege that  their problems were caused by  those who they think have the influence and power to transform their  lives , but they have failed to help them.
Accusers would deny  their  faults , blaming others. It   is  , always, "his or her fault" ; but  never "my fault".

Usually, blame or reprimand comes with a penalty, which for most people is an unpleasant  burden because they do not want to be blamed and penalised for their misdeeds; especially if they knew that their guilt  and punishment  will be made public .
When they are desperate  to escape liability,  there are people who  have no qualms about heaping  all their blame on others.
Preferred  targets for blame  are  parents , the  government , the  rich and successful persons , teachers,  bankers, social workers , spouses,  the Police and Almighty God .
The carnal man would  resort to  lying and blaming others  when faced with the dire consequences of their actions . They would resort to any and all  means
of escaping liability .
 It is easier to lie and blame others who are not within ear-shot ; but there  are persons who could look others in  the face and lie against them, without batting an eyelid.
However, whenever  a man points a finger at someone else, inevitably,  four of his fingers are pointing at himself.

In offices, schools, on the streets,  in relationships , in marriages , in churches , homes , neighbourhoods , the Blame-Game  is played as people shift their blame on others.
Some times, accusations of blame are not misplaced because there are indeed , cogent reasons to  blame persons who deserve blame like; bad parents, problematic  families ,bad wives or  bad husbands, bad pastors  and church members from Hell , bad governments and irresponsible citizens  and so on.
What is unacceptable is when others are held responsible for blame which is ours. 
The list of  accusations  from persons hoping to dodge blame, is as long and limitless as they are absurd,such as these:
 "My father abandoned us and our mother, or  my parents  did not send me to school , they  did not  love  me or care about my progress in life; or I was abused as a child ! 
That is why today , even at 30 years old,  I have not been able to achieve anything !"
Really? What of  some  people who were loved and  pampered by their parents ; yet they  grew up to become  problems to themselves and their  society? 
There are some abandoned children and  orphans who grew up in care homes , having no parents to love them and nobody to guide them in life; yet , they have become  decent adults who have done very well in their lives.
" You are not responsible for the programming you picked up in childhood.  However, as an adult, you are one hundred percent responsible for fixing it ". ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

The streets and prison cells are full of  convicts  lying  and accusing everybody  but themselves for their crimes : " It is not our fault. This government has  failed to provide jobs, food, accommodation , clothing , free transport and credit facilities  to the masses, that  is why we have  chosen lives  of crime!"
This over-used excuse by criminals  flies in the face of  sound reasoning. 
These criminals  are not the only persons in the country feeling the pinch of adverse times.
If every one who is facing hardships  decided to take to crime  in the society ,  what then? 

 *"She made me do it ! Why did she dress half naked? She was  asking for it ;  so I attacked and raped her !" 
She dressed half-naked; but did she dress like that for your benefit ? Because you are who...?
 Other men saw her dressed like that  but they looked away. Why didn't you look away?
* "It is their fault. I entered their house and  and robbed them because they shouldn't have left their windows  open at night!"
Good. Prison beckons you. In your cell , your insanity would be cured.

Envy and bitterness result in accusations.
 * "Yes, it's a fact we graduated the same year ; or we started our businesses  the same month ; or  I started my church ministry years before his started. 
But  today , people say he is doing better than I am ! I don't think so! Doing better in what way?
 I am sure  they have achieved rapid  growth and success  through  dishonest and diabolical means !"
"Oh , he says he is a writer ?! Copy- work! Plagiarism ! That is what he has been doing! " 
  * "The rich people are , all of them, a bunch of  corrupt capitalists and thieves! 
They and their children  must  be shot dead , imprisoned and be dispossessed of 90% of  their  stolen wealth and their wealth must  be distributed  to the poor masses!"
Envy not. If you have failed to make it  in life; whose fault is that?
It is not a crime to be rich and successful, by righteous means. 
The rich and successful owe no explanations or apologies to anyone for their riches.

 * "My husband does not understand my need to look good, always! Why should he complain about my new £1200 designer hand bag?"
 * " I have been coming home after 3 a.m.,everyday? So what? My wife is causing problems in our marriage!  I expect her  to understand my needs as a man. I expect  my wife to be  a patient , persevering and peaceful woman of integrity! I am her husband!  She must show me love and  respect  by welcoming me  home with smiles and hot meals, even if  I returned home at 4 a.m; not nagging  me, disturbing my peace with irritating questions  and demanding to know where I have been all night ! "
There are women and men who are involved in love relationships with different men and women at the same time , hoping that these people will never find out their deceit. 
When they eventually find out, these love-cheats would blame their victims for finding out.
" Why should she find out  my  secret? She is just too intelligent  for her own good! "

Some people who dropped out of school even blame their teachers for it. 
 * "Teachers  should be blamed for pupils'  truancy and for their students dropping out of schools!
I dropped out of school because I couldn't stand the constant disrespect from my school authorities.  Teachers should  learn to show respect to  their students  by not  hurting their  students' feelings with disrespectful harsh words!"
 * "Pupils  who refuse to do their home work and who under- perform in school  and those who  disrupt the peace of the classrooms,  must be handled with care ; or else schools would lose them , forever". 
  * "The Police must be trained on how not to disrupt the peace!  
  The Police  agitate criminals by turning up in places where the Police are  not wanted  and by asking people questions which they should not ask them !"
 *" Social Workers  are  to be blamed for  causing the  government  welfare spending- cuts!  They've been writing  assessment reports which say people  who have never worked in their lives are now fit to work ; even when such persons are not willing to work!"
And so on and so forth.  Accusations  galore !

Have  you been a victim of abandonment , of abuse , of  fraud , cheating , of  jilting or divorce, false accusations and other  forms of  ill-treatment?
 Your unpleasant experiences are not new or unheard of on earth and  they are  not excuses  for anyone to stagnate and to remain  bitter and hurt.
Those who  have hurt  you with their words and actions , intend to derail your God-ordained destiny and  to blight your future. Do not give them that  satisfaction. 
The greatest revenge against  your haters and detractors is for  them to see  it and to hear  it that you are succeeding ; that you are happy , you are bubbling , glowing and shinning , that you are blossoming and fruitful in  your life.
Amen !
But  , you would not  arise to that enviable level  if you do not move on from all the unpleasant memories of their persons and their evil deeds.
It is time to move on  . Move away and stay away from unprofitable people and do not allow the evil they have done  , or  which they are doing to you , bear fruit in your life.

If you are one of those persons wasting your time and energy , by dodging your own blame but  accusing and blaming God and everyone  else for your  faults and your failures; be assured that your sorrows have just started and you will be the all- round- loser . 
All  false accusers and artful dodgers have their  inevitable reward .
 Evil shall slay the wicked: and they that hate the righteous shall be desolate. Psalm 34: 21.
While the victims  of  your false accusations are doing well in life, it is not so for  you , the unrelenting accusers.
The unrepentant accusers problems will  increase ,  their problems will escalate and become  more complex and messier ! 
Accusers will continue  to stagnate and to retrogress in their lives ; going round in circles of problems ; because God frustrates the token of liars and accusers.
 Maybe , the persons you are accusing are not even aware of  your headaches and  belly-aching. Why not give it up and ask for forgiveness and mercy from God, today ?
" For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death ".2 Corinthians 7:10.

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